At 16 I moved into my first home rental. It was a one bedroom with a hot plate to cook, filthy well-trodden wall to wall carpet, and each renter in the rooms of the house had to wait in a line on dark cold mornings outside the loo door, clutching our soap and towel, and where hot water was generated only if we individually popped a few pence in the meter. Despite the reality of it being skanky, I thought I had won the lottery. My first ever sanctuary thru my rosy colored glasses was perfect. Even at such a tender age, I gathered treasures from secondhand stores and boot sales for pennies, and reality of the skankiness was buried beneath my cloak of beauty. 

As my life has unfolded, I have learnt about myself that my heart, mind and eyes can get lost in fantasy and storytelling.  This has been helpful in my creative life, and in someways the core of my Shabby Chic brand. But I have also learnt the stories I create, in matters of the heart and business has sometimes given cause to avoid the inevitable realities of life. And at some point, the veil is lifted, either voluntarily or the universe steps in. And the chapters of the stories come to a close.

For so many of us, movies, music and novels escape and fuel for so much inspiration. I have (as we all often do), identified with many characters or lyrics and romanticized as though they are mirroring my personal life experience. 

On Robert Redford’s recent passing I wrote a post, in part. “Out of Africa graced our screens in 1985 and became one of my greatest sources of inspiration when formulating my story of Shabby Chic which I  founded a few years later. From the ensembles of décor to the driving force of passion. I know every frame and word spoken. For those who came to my seminars at The Prairie, you may remember this is the movie I chose for us to view together and converse thru the wee hours until our hot chocolates were cold. Sharing with you this movie resonated with me, identifying a woman can be strong independent and hard working while also creating a nurturing and romantic home. All driven I believe by the ability to love deeply, even if at times misplaced.”

For me, the most captivating part of the film, was the parallel lines of the evolution of the female character played so stunningly by Meryl Streep, where her heart opens, she learns to love deeply, and her vulnerability fuels her unwavering passion for her farm and the people. Where at times, she channels unrequited and the loss of love into the passion of her life. Believe me I have had several “nearly” Robert Redford’s and it’s the heartbreaks of when reality set in that I have redirected my passion and created some of my most passionate works.

The art direction of Out of Africa carried us all into another world where every detail contributed to the immersive experience. The visuals of the exquisitely romantic dreamy white bedroom, with carved nightstands, twinkly candles, a vanity and laced bed coverings mesmerized me as well as the baggy faded floral slipcovered furniture. This visual was what my mind had been formulating and would one day  become my Shabby Chic brand. Towards the end of the movie, when all the furniture and furnishings had been sold off, and the rooms were emptied, the soul remained intact, creating a hauntingly breathtaking dancing scene where the furnishings were a distant memory. Often in my art direction of photo shoots, I set the stage for the beauty of what remains.

There have been chapters in my life, where I have rewritten history of relationships and events where the lines get blurred of what was real. And while in some instances this has caused for chaos and heartache when the inevitable cloak of reality is revealed, it has guided me creativity to a magical land of fantasy where pain is suspended.

Many years ago, my company went thru some major challenges, and restructuring was imminent. A photo captured me absorbed in my world, surrounded by beauty, for just a little bit longer, not quite ready to face the reality that soon, for a while at least the curtain was to come down.

It has been said artists are often tortured souls, it’s in the discomfort that we create beauty whether a painting, a song or a novel. It doesn’t go wasted on me the tiny seed of the beautiful world I created with Shabby Chic, was planted all those years ago in that skanky bedsit. It set the course for me to create beauty in all forms, tiny details and massive expressions. And so today what was once a fantasy I created is a beautiful reality for us all.